tv Late Night With Seth Meyers NBC October 4, 2017 12:37am-1:38am PDT
>> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- kyra sedgwick. from "saturday night live," actress and comedian, cecily strong. author salman rushdie. featuring the 8g band with gene hoglan. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that's fantastic to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. during his visit to puerto rico today, president trump said, "i hate to tell you, puerto rico, but you've thrown our budget out of whack." and then he said this to a family who had lost their home.
>> we're going to help you out. >> thank you. >> have a good time. [ laughter ] >> seth: which means it's time for another installment of -- "i can't." ♪ >> seth: i just -- they -- it was a -- [ laughter ] you're the president. [ laughter ] i can't. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: that's right. president trump visited puerto rico today, and boy, was he surprised when he asked to speak to their president. [ laughter ] "what? you have a donald trump too? [ laughter ] i want to meet him. maybe he also hates his job." [ light laughter ] president trump visited puerto rico today, where he met with hurricane survivors. "we love you, donald," said a banner he brought from home. [ laughter ]
politico has published a new profile on robert mueller and the ongoing russia investigation. we have one reporter saying that asking mueller for inside information would be like asking him to watch a porn movie with you. "i'll watch a porn movie with you," said ted cruz. [ laughter ] "we don't even have to sit on the same couch." [ laughter and applause ] according to reports, officials have -- officials have began reviewing -- sorry. according to officials -- accord -- [ laughter and applause ] >> you got this! >> seth: i [ bleep ] up. [ laughter and applause ] i was looking -- i was checking your work wally. [ light laughter ] but i just want to own it right now and say, i [ bleep ] up. thank you, and i think you're being really noble about it right now and not making a big deal out of it, and i think that's cool. 'cause let me just be clear, i was so ready to toss you under the bus.
[ laughter ] according to reports, officials have begun reviewing e-mails associated with a third and previously unreported e-mail account on jared kushner and ivanka trump's private domain. and this can't be good, the e-mail is "this one's for collusion at javanka.biz." [ cheers and applause ] according to a new poll, most americans are in favor of celebrating columbus day, especially president trump, who is still discovering america. [ laughter ] "really? puerto rico is ours? that's fantastic. they have a donald trump?" [ laughter ] and finally, an injured deer destroyed the inside of a staten island clothing store yesterday. officials estimate the damage at over 10,000 tank tops. [ light laughter ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a fantastic show for you tonight. she's starring in the new abc series, "ten days in the valley," kyra sedgwick is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ]
you know her from "snl," one of our favorites, cecily strong is back on the show. [ cheers and applause ] and he's a wonderful author. his new novel, "the golden house," is out now. salman rushdie is joining us tonight. [ cheers and applause ] so you're here on a good one. before we get to that, white house press secretary, sarah huckabee sanders, has been holding a lot of press briefings lately. but i don't think all the questions we need answered have been asked. so we decided to hold another one right here, right now. that's right, sarah huckabee sanders and the "late night" press corps are here in our studio and ready to go. so without further ado, it's time for the "late night" "white house press briefing." ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: sarah, sarah, yes, sarah. sarah? sarah? yes, thank you. seth meyers, "late night with seth meyers." secretary sanders, how would you
describe the trump presidency in three words? >> russia's unfortunate decision. [ laughter ] >> seth: what does the white house staff say when trump starts tweeting on a saturday? >> this will be a working weekend. [ laughter ] >> seth: donald trump's approval rating keeps spiraling to record lows, with most polls showing him below 40%. do you think it can fall any farther? >> 15% has been the goal. it's always been the goal, we're going to continue pushing for that. [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: best of luck. what do you think president trump still needs to learn in order to get better at his job? >> 8th grade civics. >> seth: yeah. [ cheers and applause ] i heard you accidentally made eye contact with ivanka trump the other day. how did that go? >> it seemed like a kind face. but when i looked at her again, she spat on me. [ laughter ]
>> seth: what role is eric trump playing within his father's administration? >> he'll working with the grounds keeping crew here at the white house, and will help cut the grass. [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: secretary sanders, complete this meatloaf lyric. i would do anything for love, but -- >> this president's not willing to do that. [ laughter ] >> seth: very close. how's betsy devos doing with learning the alphabet? >> there's a long way to go. >> seth: okay. [ laughter ] is it true that donald trump is considering the mad hatter to be the next federal reserve chairman? >> we're not going to go down rabbit holes on personnel. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: what does vice president mike pence call sex? >> the privacy act. [ laughter ] >> seth: do you think satan exists?
>> he wrote the president a letter earlier this year. [ laughter ] >> seth: has the president's stance changed on what his favorite pink floyd album is? >> he's still 100% committed to "the wall." >> seth: yeah. yeah, yeah. [ laughter ] what do you like better? legs or feet? >> i think both of those parts are very important moving forward. [ laughter ] >> seth: what was president trump's reaction to ted cruz liking that porn video on twitter? >> he watched the entire thing. [ laughter ] >> seth: ted cruz denies that he was the one who liked that video. so if it wasn't him, what kind of porn does he like? >> a lot of strong women in various positions. [ laughter ] >> seth: how would you describe jared kushner in seven words or less?
>> an inspiring 11-year-old young man. [ laughter ] >> seth: what do people need in order to realize that the president is unhinged? >> access to a working phone. [ laughter ] >> seth: what's the sentence that terrifies president trump the most? >> let's get to work. [ laughter ] >> seth: follow up, what's the biggest thing you have in common with your predecessor, sean spicer? >> i hate to do this. [ laughter ] >> seth: and finally, a question that i and i assume my colleagues have been dying to ask, how does an orgy work? >> as i've said several times earlier today, the goal is to have everybody come together. [ audience oohs ] [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: i told you. i told you guys. i told you. [ applause ] well, looks like we're out of time. so, on behalf of the rest of the press corps, have a good night. we'll be right back with kyra sedgwick, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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of metal drumming. playing with some of the top bands in the genre, such as strapping young lad and dethklok. you can check him out on the new album from brendon small's galaktikon, entitled, "ii: become the storm," gene hoglan, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] thank you so much for being here gene. >> thank you seth, great to be here. >> seth: our first guest tonight is a golden globe and emmy winning actress you know from her work on tnt's "the closer." she returns to television in the new series "ten days in the valley." which airs sunday nights on abc, let's take a look. >> did you go inside my house? >> no, god, i didn't go inside your house. i went into your shed. and i sold you a little something which you are clearly still on. >> okay, look. pete broke into my house on sunday and he took my kid. okay, i need to prove it. i don't want to put the cops on you, but i will. >> okay, dude chill out, alright? i'm just doing my thing, i'm trying to climb my ass out of the ghetto. >> oh, shut up. your father's a dentist. >> i'm talking the proverbial ghetto. >> you think i'm eager to tell the cops that i had a drug dealer at my house while my kid was asleep? just tell me what you saw and i'll pretend i saw it.
>> seth: please welcome to the show, kyra sedgwick, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> hi! >> seth: it is so wonderful to see you. >> it's so good to see you too. >> seth: and you almost -- well, we almost didn't get a chance to see you. >> that's right. >> seth: you almost could not be here. >> i almost didn't make it to the show tonight. >> seth: because of jury duty. >> yeah. [ light laughter ] >> seth: that's so fantastic. >> you know, i know that people say that they only get called once every four years, but i'm telling you, i get called all of the time. they love me. >> seth: i get it. [ light laughter ] >> they can't get enough of me. i literally, in the last four months, i have been asked to go to petty court, which i thought was petite. [ laughter ] grand jury and federal jury -- or supreme court and federal court. >> seth: oh, my goodness. >> and i -- you know, when you get that thing in the mail,
everybody -- us new yorkers are like, my life is more important than doing my civic duty. >> seth: yeah, exactly. >> i know, i did -- and i'm actually civic-minded. i mean, i actually pick up after my dog, and, you know, i don't -- i don't jump over the turnstiles. and, you know, i vote. but like, there's something so irritating about it. >> seth: yes. >> yeah. and so you start to talk to people, and they're like, oh, my god, well, if you get to voir dire, you know -- >> seth: sure. >> that's when they ask you all these questions, like, what's your favorite -- what's your hobbies. i mean, they ask you odd questions. they're basically, you're getting close to being picked for a jury. if you get there, just start lying. and just say -- [ light laughter ] yeah, just start saying, like, i don't believe in the criminal justice system as it is today. [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah. >> and, like, i don't think it's fair that people go to jail. and so you literally start convincing yourself, i'm going to say that. like, i'm actually going to do that. and then you walk in to the courtroom, and it looks like a real courtroom. because it's a real courtroom.
>> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> and then a judge comes out. and he looks like a real judge. >> seth: yeah. >> like, he's not like the "law and order" judge that you thought. and suddenly, you're like, i can't lie! i can't lie. and they make you take the oath. >> seth: yeah. >> and he talks about solemnizing the proceedings, which, i've never heard used in that context. and you're like, i swear to take -- the tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth. and you're literally thinking, i'm going to lie. and then you start to get like weepy, because you're like, oh, my god, the defendant is there. and he really counts on me, you know. [ laughter ] >> seth: by the way -- >> to show up. >> seth: and you're surprised they keep bringing you back? you're a dream juror! [ laughter ] you're the dream! everything about this! they're like, there was that one lady who cried. [ laughter ] when the judge stood up and made everybody take an oath. we've got to get her back here. i'm sure everybody else was on their phone, lying about everything. saying, like, i think like, shoplifting should be the death penalty. they're like, get out of here.
we've got kyra sedgwick. we don't need you, you lunatic. [ light laughter ] >> yeah, too much empathy. i've definitely -- >> seth: too much empathy. well, i want to talk to you about -- well this is empathy, but you care a lot about thoughts and feelings. >> yes. >> seth: but are you coming to a realization about this now, or you must have always cared about thoughts and feelings. 'cause you strike me as someone who has always cared about -- >> no, i've always cared about thoughts and feelings. >> seth: yeah. >> i mean, like, it's a -- i literally had when my -- you know, my kids were little, i'd be like, well, what are you feeling? well what are you thinking? well, what are you feeling? well, what are you thinking? we literally had a game called thoughts and feelings, and they would hide it. because they didn't want to play the thoughts and feelings game. [ light laughter ] >> seth: was it a board game? >> it was a board game. >> seth: oh, my god. >> it made you talk about thoughts and feelings. but, you know, i mean, this is the great thing about having girlfriends, is that, they never tire of talking about thoughts and feelings. >> seth: no. [ laughter ] >> never. you know, i mean, no detail is too small. no emotion is too minor to share. you know, in deep, in-depth, in detail. the other day i was having dinner with my friend. we were at two hours. and like, i'm asking her everything about everything.
like, what did you have for breakfast and what did you wear the day you went in to see your boss and ask for a raise. like, how did you feel in the morning? [ laughter ] like, tell me every single thing. and we went to the bathroom together, because women go to the bathroom together. >> seth: i've noticed that, yeah. >> this is something that men don't do. but we went into the bathroom together. plenty of stalls, but we had to go into the stall together. >> seth: really? >> didn't want to miss a nuance, you know. didn't want to miss a -- you know -- >> seth: you -- i excuse you from jury duty. [ laughter ] so, you go into the stall together, just to keep chatting? >> yeah, to keep chatting. you don't want to miss anything. and, like, talking over the stall is not good enough. i need to see the face. i need to -- [ laughter ] >> seth: wow. are you concerned that other people in the bathroom are aware -- >> no. >> seth: that there are now two people chatting away? okay. that's great. >> i don't worry about those things. >> seth: yeah, no -- >> i told kev that story, he's like, you know, you can -- i can guaran-damn-tee it that no guy goes into a urinal, like you know, and has some guy right
next to him talking to him, because they can't be apart. i mean, of course their -- >> seth: i think that's very safe. [ laughter ] >> yeah, yeah. >> seth: i will say, because i recently saw you, and your husband, kevin bacon, and you are the best-looking couple in show business. >> oh, my god, no. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: and if there was anyone -- [ cheers and applause ] if there was any guy i would share a stall with, it would be your husband. so -- [ light laughter ] >> you're not the only one. >> seth: yeah, no, i'm sure there's like -- >> many a time, he's had his -- in his hands -- >> seth: yeah. >> and people have asked for autographs. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> and pictures. selfies. just really easy. >> seth: yeah, exactly. [ laughter ] i want to ask you about something. >> yes. >> seth: because my -- this is -- i'm so glad this came up. because my mother has been making this point recently. and i -- we all thought she would -- did not have a leg to stand on, and i'm so happy that you also believe this. there's something you don't like about being at a restaurant for dinner. >> yes, that's right. >> seth: and what is it? >> well, it's after you've been eating for a while, the waiter comes by and says, "are you still working on that?"
i worked all day. now i'm eating. >> seth: uh-huh. [ light laughter ] >> like, there's no part of -- this is not work. i'm actually eating. >> seth: my mom made this case. and everybody -- no but, not right. [ laughter ] everyone in the family, said, what are you talking about, mom? it's a figure of speech. >> makes me crazy. >> seth: it makes you crazy. oh, my god. >> makes me crazy. and i -- actually sometimes point it out. and i say to the waiter, "so, listen. let me just tell that, you know, i am not working." and my daughter is like, "oh, my god. don't. [ laughter ] that's just so mom." the waiter is not here to be schooled by you. >> seth: yeah. >> you know, that's not why the waiter is here. the waiter is here to do their job and serve the food. and this is like a new figure of speech. it's a terrible figure of speech. it should be -- >> seth: you should say, when they say, "are you still working on this?" you should say, "are you enjoying your hobby of being a waiter?" [ laughter ] and then your daughter will slump even further in her seat like -- also, congrats on this new show. >> thank you. >> seth: this is -- you play a
lady on drugs, as you can tell from that -- >> yes, exactly. >> seth: sometimes on drugs, not the whole time. >> yes, yes. >> seth: but, you know, this is you're sort of trying to solve a mystery, and, to some degree. >> yes. >> seth: and -- >> i'm not trying to solve a mystery. >> seth: no, exactly, but people are gonna -- >> i did enough of that. >> seth: exactly -- >> yes. >> seth: but that must be nice, because in your last show -- >> yes. >> seth: you were in every scene. >> yes. >> seth: and now there are other people. there are other points of view. >> yes. >> seth: are you enjoying being on set and having a little more time off? >> i am. i totally am. and she's not nearly as verbose as brenda. brenda was very blah, blah, blah. >> seth: yeah. >> and she is very less blah, blah, blah. >> seth: that's great. >> yeah. >> seth: everybody -- after a show like "the closer," everyone should play someone who is doing a little bit of drugs, just to like bring it down. [ laughter ] just a little bit. i'm sure -- are you enjoying it? >> yeah, i do. i enjoy it. i love it. i mean, it was a great time. we had great actors around. and, yes, it's true. i had more time. and, i mean, i think when you're number -- you know, when you're doing a part like "the closer," you literally don't have time to pee. >> seth: yeah. >> i was actually in my trailer one day, and usually, you know, you go to your trailer in
between setups. and usually the moment you get into the trailer and they close the door, they're knocking on the door, like we're ready, we're ready, we're ready. >> seth: sure. >> and you're thinking, i don't have time to pee. well, i was actually going to the bathroom. i'm not going to say pee any more. because it's enough already. [ light laughter ] and i'm getting a knock, knock, knock on the door. and it's getting more and more aggressive. and i'm like, i'm going to the bathroom. i'm going to the bathroom! i'm screaming. and i'm thinking, geez, these people are so aggressive. this p.a. is like obviously getting yelled at. and then all of a sudden, the trailer starts moving. and i'm like, my god! these teamsters are hooking up the trailer to like drive me away, and i'm in the bathroom. and suddenly -- and i'm screaming at the top of my lungs, crying. and then i realize, holy crap. it's an earthquake. [ laughter ] that's what's happening! we are literally having -- anyway, i had to -- >> seth: they -- and that whole crew thinks you're such a diva, that you screamed at an earthquake. [ laughter ] you were screaming at an earthquake. not now, i'm going to the bathroom. [ laughter ] thank you so much for being here. >> thank you. >> seth: it's always such a pleasure to see you, kyra.
>> it's so good to see you too. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: kyra sedgwick, everybody. "ten days in the valley" airs sunday nights on abc. we'll be right back, with cecily strong. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ having moderate to seis not always easy.is it's a long distance run and you have the determination to keep going. humira has a proven track record of being prescribed for nearly ten years. it's the number one prescribed biologic by dermatologists. more than 250,000 patients have chosen humira to fight their psoriasis. and they're not backing down. for most patients clearer skin is the proof. humira can lower your ability to fight infections including tuberculosis. serious, sometimes fatal infections and cancers, including lymphoma have happened, as have blood, liver and nervous system problems. serious allergic reactions and new or worsening heart failure. before treatment get tested for tb. tell your doctor if you've been to areas where certain fungal infections are common and if you've had
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody. you know our next guest from her work on "saturday night live" which airs this saturday with host gal gadot, and musical guest sam smith. please welcome back to the show, my very good friend, cecily strong, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: hi cec! >> back here, my second home. >> seth: oh, i'm so happy to have you.
congrats on a fantastic season premiere, was it nice to be back? >> thank you. it's nice, and terrifying, and i'm back to not sleeping. >> seth: yeah. it immediately starts. >> yeah. >> seth: you couldn't have had a better first host. ryan gosling is such a delight. >> very giggly. >> seth: he's a great -- >> wonderful. >> seth: he's a great host. >> yeah. >> seth: very giggly, but also, you did a pre-tape sketch with him about the font in the "avatar" poster. >> yeah -- >> seth: called papyrus. >> right. >> seth: julio torres wrote a beautiful sketch. he was -- then he was a very intense actor. it wasn't live. >> right. >> seth: is it -- is he fun onset, or when he's acting is he intense? >> we -- well there were -- we laughed a lot, and there was one scene in particular -- one scene. i was in two scenes. >> seth: yeah. >> so, one of my two. we were in bed together, and right at the beginning, he was shaking so much, and then i went, like -- first i was like, is that me, but it wasn't me, and then i thought -- [ laughter ] and then i thought, like, oh, no. there's something wrong with him, but i'm respectful, and, like, i'm not going to bring it up.
>> seth: that's great. >> i'm going to pretend i don't notice. >> seth: what if it was a medical emergency, and you were taking the high road. >> i know, well then i -- oh no, he's an actor. he's acting. >> seth: he was just getting ready. >> yeah, he just was doing that, because his character would. >> seth: wow. >> and i -- my brain went to, there is something wrong with ryan gosling. [ laughter ] and i'm going to be cool about it. >> seth: but that was nice of you. that was nice of you to be cool about it. >> yeah. well, i'm a nice person. >> seth: you are a nice person. >> i will not help anyone in a medical emergency, because i'll be cool about it. >> seth: they'll be like, cecily, this man had a heart attack, and you said, i chose not to draw attention to it, and make him feel bad. [ laughter ] >> yeah, i didn't want to embarrass the guy. >> seth: you also had jay-z there. so you're at an after party, not only is jay-z there, beyonce is there. >> yes. >> seth: did you interact? >> no, i've only ever gotten as far as just stopping what i'm doing, and smiling when beyonce is around. >> seth: uh-huh. [ light laughter ] >> i can't ever -- i'll never be able to say words to her, i think. and it's like the third time i've seen her, i think, and i really was at a table talking, and then just went -- [ laughter ] and that's as much -- and she's been in the hallway before at the show, and i think i did the
same thing, where i was walking, and then went -- [ laughter ] >> seth: does she -- does she reciprocate the smile? do you get it back, do you think? >> i must look crazy, but i feel like she must be used to that when you're beyonce. >> seth: yeah, right. >> i can't imagine -- i stick out. people do weirder things. >> seth: yeah, that's true. >> than smile. >> seth: she does just -- she basically brings smile powder with her. >> yeah. [ light laughter ] and it's like -- there's like whisperings, and birds chirping when she's around. yeah. >> seth: another great thing about new snl season, is the new writers, new cast members. do you, reflecting back on your early days on the show, what was your first week like? >> my -- i have no idea. i feel like i don't remember my first year. >> seth: yeah. >> it was all -- i was in shock the entire time. the only thing i do remember is, i was standing under the bleachers with aidy when don pardo announced our names, and it was like, oh, now it's real. >> seth: yeah. >> if i'm in the credits -- >> seth: no right, once you're in the credits, they have to give you a check. >> even if i'm not in the show, i'm in the damn credits. >> seth: yeah. [ light laughter ]
>> they give you that giant check. or -- it's this big. >> seth: yeah, that's great. you've got to go to your bank and say i need to cash my snl check. >> yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. lorne goes with me, yeah, he gives it to you. >> seth: and are you excited -- you play melania on the show, beautifully. >> yes. >> seth: do you -- have you been watching her over the summer? are you looking forward to playing her? >> she -- i think, top three melania moments over the summer. she had like, really hot hits over the summer. >> seth: she crushed it with some moments? >> she crushed a lot of silent moment -- like melania's silent is just -- she's so good. [ laughter ] all of the hand things. i mean, she's like a little cat, like remember the hand-swatting. >> seth: oh, when he tried to take her hand. [ light laughter ] >> yeah, and she does it all -- with such grace. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> and doesn't ever fall. it just like -- it looks like it's choreographed almost. and then she took her somber moment. that was my favorite picture, was at the wailing wall, and she's in these red gorgeous heels, and like, this white suit, and really taking her moment, the sacred moment at the wall. it was like, yeah. i get you, girl. [ laughter ]
i can't wait until there are so many drag melania trumps. >> seth: oh, yeah. [ laughter ] i didn't even think about that, but that will be right up -- >> oh, i'm thinking about it. that's all i'm thinking about. >> seth: well, there's a lot of wonderful two-shots -- he's gesticulating, and being sort of blow-hardy, and she's just aviators. >> she's thinking about bullying. >> seth: yeah, oh, right. [ laughter ] that's her cause, it's bullying. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. >> seth: do you think she's been an effective champion for the anti-bullying movement? >> as a real answer, obviously, no. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> not in -- on any earth. on any planet, but i'm going to go ahead, and say yes anyway, 'cause she's -- that's her thing. >> seth: yeah. do you think in the middle of the night she ever leans over to donald and comes up with -- >> she says like, "i hate bullies." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] that's her. that's her speech. >> seth: she like, shakes him awake -- >> "do you think it's good? i hate bullies. [ laughter ] it's good tweet?" like she writes her own tweets. [ light laughter ]
>> seth: you -- so you were at second city. you were an improviser in chicago. were you -- did you kind of get into second city right away, or were you doing improv shows before that? >> so, when i was taking classes, there would be like a couple of the paid shows that we did were all weird, and i did one with my friend paul -- it was -- it was like a fashion show, i think, but they wanted us to do improv. >> seth: that's never a good idea. >> it was terrible. >> seth: yeah. >> and it was like no one -- no one was even listening, and we just had to keep going, which was awful. and then finally when we got to leave the stage, there was no backstage, so we were trapped. so we had to then go back on to the stage to exit, and at that point, i just stood by the garbage can and pretended to be a garbage attendant, to see if people would even remember that i had been on the stage, and if they -- and, like, people that would assume that's a regular thing. this is so fancy, you can't throw your own trash away. >> seth: so you would -- >> give it to that girl in a giant coat. >> seth: you did child -- you were a child actor. well, you were a stage child actor.
>> yes, exactly. >> seth: what were those early shows like? >> i did a lot as the bailiwick theater in chicago. >> seth: sure. >> and basically -- it was a very, also, gay theater. so i was raised by so many wonderful gays -- that really tickled you. [ laughter ] so i was raised by all these amazing gay men, and i was doing this show, this family show, called "christmas schooner" and it's still going now in chicago, but the late show that would come in after us was "cyber queer." [ light laughter ] so i was like 11 years old, and would skip off stage, and there was just like a giant man in a little speedo under pants that's like, hey, sweetie, can i have my makeup table? sure cyber queer! [ laughter ] >> seth: well, it must have been a nice education, though. >> it was -- oh, i wouldn't trade it for the world. it really made me the gay man -- the cyber queer that i am today. >> seth: well, we're lucky to have you. thanks so much for being here. it's always such a pleasure to see you, and congrats on another season. >> yes, thanks, seth. >> seth: cecily strong everybody! "saturday night live" airs this saturday with host gal gadot, and musical guest sam smith. we'll be right back with more "late night." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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>> seth: welcome back to the show, everybody. this is -- very exciting news. last year, going through my parents' attic, i found my first video game system. this is a system that predated nintendo, atari, and television. it was the jorbus. you guys probably remember the jorbus. it was made by montgomery ward. [ laughter ] and just a fantastic video game system. and, ever since i pulled it out, i've been playing my games nonstop. and i have to say, jorbus's games, ahead of their time. and i would love to look at some of them now in a segment we call, "old video games." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: this first jorbus classic was inspired by the music of the beatles and it's called "the beatles game." now, the game is actually set very late in the beatles' career when they all wanted to break up. so what happened was you played -- and as a kid, this was really exciting. you played as producer george martin. [ laughter ] and you had to drag each beatle to their instrument to force them to record another album.
[ light laughter ] so, you know, for example, here you go. first you would grab paul and you'd sort of drag him over. >> i don't want to play music. >> seth: and then you go get john, you know. >> no. >> seth: and then, you know, go get ringo. >> peace and love. [ light laughter ] >> seth: and then you go get george, and then they start -- there goes paul. he left. [ laughter ] you know, and then you get george, but then there's go john. it was really frustrating. and then the thing was, finally, you would get the four beatles together, and then they're about to play some of your favorite beatles hits, but then yoko ono shows up, and everyone would leave, except john. [ applause ] i mean, as a kid -- as a kid, nothing was more fun than hearing yoko do her thing. [ laughter ] next up, this game was inspired by the popular game, "pong," but was catered more to marijuana fans. it was "bong." [ laughter ] and the game basically had the same concept of "pong," except instead of paddles, you had bongs. the game replicated the reaction time of the marijuana user. let's take a look.
[ laughter ] you could play that game for hours. [ cheers and applause ] and then you figure out, it had only been 15 minutes, but it felt like hours. [ applause ] you guys remember the game "mine sweeper?" [ cheers ] jorbus had a game called "mime sweeper." and in this iconic game, you played as a frenchman hell-bent on ridding the streets of paris of mimes. so, you basically walk down a street, and you press "a" to punch a mime. and that was very nice. [ laughter ] and the mimes would try to fight back, but since they were mimes, they didn't actually have weapons. they would just fake 'em. and then if you hit "a" and "b" you could use a breadstick. [ audience groans ] french bread. these aren't real mimes, you don't have to groan. [ laughter ] and it was just a lot of fun. it was really a lot of fun.
[ applause ] this last game, with all due respect to "mario kart," this is the greatest racing game of all-time. it was inspired by the popemobile, and it's called "pope john paul racing." and in this game, you play as pope john paul ii, and you race against the devil himself. [ laughter ] and you get all sorts of power ups, you know, you get a holy water cannon and then you can shoot the devil with that. of course, the devil, he played dirty. oh, no. [ audience oohs ] but then, when it looked like you were going to lose, you get picked up by god's hand. [ laughter ] and then you do the pope john paul victory dance. [ cheers and applause ] give it up for the jorbus, everyone! we'll be right back with salman rushdie. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪
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>> seth: how are you? >> i'm really very well. thank you. >> seth: congratulations on finishing the book, having it out. it must feel very nice to be done with it. >> yes. it feels like you have your brain removed. [ light laughter ] that's what it feels like, because there is nothing left in here. >> seth: and does -- how long does it take for your brain to regenerate? you don't know. >> i have no idea. >> seth: that's nice. [ light laughter ] >> but my brain can't think about it. >> seth: that's right, of course. you're in a place of ultimate peace. so this book is about -- an indian billionaire who moves to new york. his sons, sort of suspicious of circumstances and background, and then -- it's narrated by their neighbor, who's a film maker. did you -- was that something you had to come up with in the very beginning, that, oh, i'm going to have the narrator have this film director's eye? >> you know, i didn't because i knew i wanted him to be a young guy and to be a born and raised new yorker, but i had this really awful idea that he should be a writer. >> seth: uh-huh. [ light laughter ] >> and i started writing it like that, and then i literally woke up in the middle of the night and sat up in bed and thought,
this sucks! [ laughter ] you know he should be -- anything would be better. he could be a dentist. >> seth: yeah. >> he could be a hairdresser. he could be a tax accountant. all of those would be better. so then i went to sleep, and woke up, and i thought, well okay, so he's not a writer. so who is he? and then i knew a bunch of young film makers in the village, you know what i thought, well, maybe he's one of them. and the moment i thought that he was a film maker, the whole book opened out. >> seth: that must be an incredible moment to see it open out in front of you like that. >> yeah, because i've always -- i've been kind of a film nerd all of my life, and i finally had a character that i could give him all my film nerdery. >> seth: oh, right. >> and so he can be the film nerd. >> seth: you -- this is -- there's -- the political backdrop of our last election is happening during this book. their -- you mention bernie by name, you mention hillary by name. you do not mention trump by name. in fact, you go a very different direction. which is -- there is a candidate who has green hair who is called the joker. >> yeah. [ laughter ]
yeah. completely different. >> seth: completely different, and no one will ever connect the two. it's very -- i have an eye for these things, so i figured it out. [ light laughter ] but -- obviously, you made a choice not to mention trump by name. what led you to that decision? >> well, first of all, it was too boring. >> seth: yeah. >> you know, and secondly, it was too boring. [ laughter ] and then i thought, if you look at a deck of cards, in the deck of cards, the two cards that don't behave like the other cards are the trump, and the joker. >> seth: yeah. [ light laughter ] >> and i thought, i don't want the trump, so i'll have the joker. >> seth: that works out very well. you know, you wrote this book. you started writing this book -- >> way before. >> seth: 2008, is that about right? >> yeah. >> seth: and it's inspired by indian billionaires you know about, and read about, and yet now people are reviewing the book and saying oh, this is very -- >> it's really strange. because unfortunately, i have to admit, that nero golden, who is the main character, is in the real estate business. >> seth: right. >> and he has a very beautiful,
much younger gold-digger, eastern european trophy wife. [ laughter ] so -- so, i'm sorry, but i -- this was all made up before i -- before we knew anything about anyone else. any other real estate developer. [ laughter ] >> seth: that is -- you know, with that said, it feels like not just this book, but all art now is being seen through the prism of trump, whether or not it was inspired by him or not. >> everything leads to trump. >> seth: yeah. >> whatever you can be talking about. new york fashion week, and you'll be talking about trump. you know, whatever you're doing. you could be talking about tennis, you'll be talking about trump. it's really -- that's one of the reasons i didn't want that word in my book. >> seth: and you -- you have a problem, which is trump likes you. >> allegedly. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] but you mentioned tennis. is it true that he tried to get you to watch some tennis with him? >> well, i met him somewhere, at some event. and he asked -- it was around the time of the u.s. open, and he asked me if i liked to go, and i said i did, and he said very sweetly, that i could
borrow his box whenever i wanted, but because he's mr. trump, he also said that it was the best box. >> seth: oh, wow, yeah. [ light laughter ] >> and that, you know, you really should see my box, because it's a really great box. [ laughter ] and i even then -- this was long before he had any political aspirations. even then i thought, this would be a career-ending move. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] absolutely. just to be seen in this box? >> just to be seen in his box. >> seth: enjoying it. >> so i didn't do it, but it was nice of him to offer. >> seth: that's very good. that's very good. i was -- you know, i feel as though you see the name salman rushdie, maybe you're watching charlie rose, maybe you're watching something on pbs, a show that reviews books. you came up on the season premier of "curb your enthusiasm." >> yeah, i heard that. >> seth: that is not where i would expect to hear your name, but it seems like the thrust of this season is that larry david has written a play called -- >> about me. >> seth: called "fatwa," about you, and the fact that the ayatollah put a fatwa on you. were you --
was it nice to see or hear that they were using this moment -- this very charged moment of your personal life in comedy? >> they did run it by me. >> seth: oh, that's very nice. [ light laughter ] >> i mean, i don't think they would have not done it if i had said no. >> seth: right. i think that's very safe, yeah. will you give us our permission? no? then i have some bad news. yeah. [ laughter ] >> exactly, exactly. >> seth: it was actually nice, because this is obviously a moment that's past, particularly with your book, "satanic verses." i've heard you say that it's nice now that people can actually read that book, removed of the fact that it was so controversial that a fatwa was issued against it. >> yeah, yeah, and when people read it, they notice that it's funny. >> seth: right. >> and it was one of the weird things that happened to me that because the attack was not funny, it was assumed that the book couldn't be funny. and because the attack was kind of weird, and incomprehensible, and foreign, and theological, it was assumed that the book would be weird, and incomprehensible, and theological, and incomprehensible. you know, and somehow i acquired
the characteristics of the attack against me. and i've had to, sort of, get out from under that cloud, so i think in a funny way "curb your enthusiasm" making jokes about it is kind of cool because it diffuses it. >> seth: yeah and -- it must have been so strange. i mean, for many reasons obviously, a death threat against your life was probably the top of the worst parts about it. >> yes. >> seth: but your book -- your book got hijacked. >> yes, the book got hijacked, and it is nice to see it being read like a book. >> seth: yeah. >> some people like it, some people hate it. that's okay. >> seth: yeah. >> that's the normal life of a book, which it didn't have, and now it does. >> seth: yeah, not normal is a fatwa. that's very rare, yeah. >> i would avoid if possible. >> seth: okay, gotcha. that's good to know. well, you came out of it looking great, and thank you so much for being here. i really appreciate it. >> thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: salman rushdie everybody. "the golden house" available now. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ want in on the secret to ageless skin.
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